Sorrows
by bluedragon1836
Summary: During a mission offworld, Vala is killed and now Daniel must face up to his feelings.


**I know this story is a bit sad (understatement of the week) but I need to write it. **

**Note: Typos have now been fixed:)**

Sorrows

"Daniel! Dial the Gate!" Daniel ran to obey O'Neill's order. He began pushing symbols on the D.H.D. THe wormhole formed and he sent his iris code through to Stargate Command. "Carter, go!" Jack ordered. Sam ran to the Gate and disapeared into its shimmering surface. Teal'c ran through next and Daniel was about to follow when he suddenly remembered. Vala. Where had she gone? He looked around frantically and found her still providing coverfire.

"Vala!" he yelled. "Come on!" He saw her get up and run towards him. He reached out to her. Suddenly, he saw the Jaffa fire his staff weapon, saw Vala fall. Desperately, he called her name, but she was gone . . . gone . . .

"NO!" Daniel sat up, panting. At first he didn't know where he was. Everything was dark. He couldn't see. What was going on? Then he heard the rain drumming on his bedroom window. Dimly, as his eye adjusted, he could see the furniture in the room. It had only been a dream. And yet . . . no. It wasn't just a dream. Vala was dead, gone forever. Daniel got out of bed and went to the window. It was just beginning to get light, but the sunrise did nothing to cheer Daniel up. He felt like an emptly shell, a puzzle with just the border. He had loved Vala and now she was gone and with her had gone part of Daniel's soul.

Samantha Carter dashed around the corner to find Jack in normal clothes just getting in the elevator.

"Sir!" she yelled. He stoped the doors from closing and she ran in. "I need to talk to you a minute," she continued as the elevator began to rise towards the surface.

"'bout what?" Jack asked.

"It's Daniel. He's, uh, disappeared. I've tried calling him, but he won't answer."

"Tried his cell phone?"

"Yes. I've tried his cell phone, home phone, I've checked his office..." She threw up her hands in despair, "Everywhere. I can't find him."

Jack nodded thoughtfully. "Carter, I sure he's all right. He probably just wants to be alone."

"I know," Sam replied. "I guess I'm just worried about him. He . . . he just seemed so depressed yesterday . . ."

"I'll stop by his house and check on him," Jack assured her, stepping out of the elevator onto the first level. "See ya."

"Bye, sir." Sam watched him leave and then, sighing, she took the elevator back down.

Jack pulled up beside the curb opposite to Daniel's house. The first thing he noticed was that the car was in the driveway. Jack got out and walked up the door. He knocked. No answer. He rang the doorbell. No answer. At last he tried the door. It was open and Jack walked in. The house was dark and silent. He walked from room to room with no sign of the archeologist except for an empty coffee cup on the kitchen counter. After checking the whole house and deciding that Daniel must have left, he walked back outside. Then he stopped, thinking. The car was still there. Daniel only had the one so...so he must have walked? But where? Jack walked back across the street and climbed into his jeep. _Hmmm. Where would I go if I was Daniel?_ Jack thought a moment. This might be difficult. _Let's see. He couldn't have walked towards the city. That was completely unDaniel like. So he must have gone . . . towards the country. _Suddenly, Jack knew where he might be able to find the missing archeologist.

His hunch was right. Jack found Daniel by a small stream several miles from the town limits. Jack pulled over and got out. Daniel didn't look up as he approached, though he knew that he was there and Jack knew that Daniel knew, so he decided to just start making conversation.

"Hey." Daniel said nothing. "Carter apparently tried to call you this morning. When you didn't answer she asked me to look in on you. She was worried about you, ya know. And I agreed because I thought, maybe you'd want someone to talk to."

There was silence for several seconds, before Daniel finally broke it. "I had a dream about her last night." His voice was quiet, but very calm.

"Who, Vala?" asked Jack knowing the answer, but trying to keep the conversation going.

"Yeah. It was like the ones I used to have about my parents and Shau'ri. I used to see their deaths over and over again and now I get to watch hers." His voice broke slightly on the last sentence.

"You know," said Jack, searching for the right words. "For someone who seemed to hate her, you sure are taking this seriously." He knew this probably wasn't exactly the right thing to say, but he couldn't think of anything else.

"I didn't hate her," Daniel responded, his voice slightly annoyed and slightly reproachful. "I never hated her."

"Really? I mean...you sure didn't act like you didn't hate her." Inwardly he winced at this sentence.

"I know, but the truth is . . . I . . ." Daniel hesitated. Jack waited expectantly for an answer, expecting anything, but what he was about to hear. "We were . . . we were engaged."

Jack stared at him. The words hit like a missile. "What?" He tried to find something to say.

Daniel stared at the reflection of himself in the water. "I asked her that night in the woods, right before . . ." He couldn't finish the sentence. "I decided to ask her in . . . in cause I never had another chance. I guess it was a good thing I did."

Jack looked at him, knowing how he must feel. "I . . . I'm sorry," was all he could say.

The archeologist continued to stare at the surface of the brook. "She had been in love with me since the incident on the Prometheus. I always wondered why she wouldn't leave me alone, but I was too blind to see the truth." His voice broke, but he continued, tears running down his cheeks. "When she told me how she felt, I . . . I realized that I had loved her back the entire time and was too stupid to recognize it for what it was."

"Daniel . . ." Jack began. "It . . . none of this was your fault."

"I . . . I just . . . I can't believe she's gone," and Daniel buried his face in his hands.

"Here, come here." Jack took Daniel gently and held him close, feeling awkward, yet knowing that Daniel needed to know that Jack was there and that he understood. They held that pose for several minutes while Daniel sobbed quietly. Then he straightened up.

"You gonna be alright?" Jack asked.

Daniel nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"Come on. I'll drive ya home." Together, the two friends walked toward the jeep and climbed in.

**Please submit your comments. I want your honest opinion. If you liked it, say so and I will be elated, if not I won't be offended in the least. **


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